All Good Things Must End

I had a streak going. 8 years, 54 days without a speeding ticket.

We were rolling home from visiting family in Richmond, IN, driving the ultra-safe, family wagon, when my phone rang. It was my great friend, the Reds archivist.

When I mentioned to him that at that moment I was driving through Oxford, OH, he told me that he had driven through there many times. That's when the lights went off in the rear view mirror. Red and blue lighting up the inside of the Volvo.

I hung up, pulled over, and tried to use it as a teaching moment.

"O.K. kids. Watch what I am doing here. I turned the light on so the policeman can see into the car, and I've put my hands up on the steering wheel so he can tell that I don't have a gun..." Calm teacher on the outside, raging fury on the inside. My streak was in danger.

The mountie tells me that I was doing 53 in a 35 "up the hill back there".

When all is said and done, and I am holding a $120 ticket in my hands, I call Craig back. He asks, "did you get it going up a hill?"

"Yes."

"Ha," he replies. "I was pulled over twice going up that hill."

Trap. Crap.

So begins a new streak. 4 days.

Re:aligning

Jen and I have found it hard to sound excited when we talk about taking the job in Eaton. To be honest, I am wrestling with some things in myself that I really don't like very much. I know that I feel like I am better than a 60 member, backwoods, conventional church minister. See what I mean. What kind of jerk thinks that?

It's like Tim said. "We talk about this incarnational ministry all the time, and what if God actually expects us to do it."

But come on. If God really wanted me to minister to these people, He would give me healthcare and a much bigger salary and maybe just someone else in the church who isn't on social security.

Truth is there are a lot of people that we have met there already and many of them have been very interesting people. There was Frank who is a retired newspaper man/pastor/professional fisherman. And Anita who is a very impressive bronze artist. God could come up with much worse places for me to live in and much worse people that these to live with.

I am to be voted on this Sunday. And that's odd. I will preach this Sunday and afterwards all the members will vote to decide if they want me there or not. I'm not afraid that I won't be voted in, but it does feel like an approval seeking nightmare.

Today, I have been planning some sermon series up through next July and thinking through a list of projects to get to work on immediately. And it feels good to actually have something to plan for.

Tim called again as I was writing this and he reminded me that God has had this way of sending me to the places I don't want to go (like California and New Hope and now, Eaton). Seems like God and I have some things to work out, huh?

Nada Surf

I've been listening to these guys lately and really enjoying them. Their song "Always Love" has this great line...

To make a mountain of your life is just a choice

So lately, I have chosen to make life a mountain, and yesterday I chose a job. We are all headed to Eaton, OH, population 10,000. Their are people there who need someone to guide and teach and love them. That is something I will do.

And I am ready to just find joy in the journey and no longer worry about the terrain.

Decisions, Decisions

Alright, I admit it. I am an obsessive person. Here are a few of my obsessions, past and present:

• Peach Snapple
• Tombstone Pizza's (I still have one once a week)
• Dr. Pepper (I was kicked out of Taco Bell for just shoving my head under the fountain and letting this sweet nectar pour right down my gullet)
• Jones Soda (oh how I miss pineapple Upside-Down Soda)
• Altoids (curiously strong for the uncuriously strong breath)
• and the list goes on.

My latest obsession has been finding a job. It's all I can think about. I am a terrible listener these days. Friends call me, and they immediately become sound boards for the latest turn in my job hunt. I hijack their problems and focus them on mine.

And I am tired of this.

It can all come to an end in the next couple of days. Three choices are sitting in front of me. Two of which I can do, though am not too thrilled about doing. One strikes at my desires, but the place seems a little flaky, less secure and disappointed us once already.

Oscar Wilde said, "In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."

But what if I don't know what I want.

A Few Things I Am Looking Forward To When We Are Back In Our Own Space

• living life at our speed
• sitting around in my boxers
• eating pizza in front of the T.V.
• peeing with the bathroom door open
• being able to get into the saddle withouth worrying if the parents can hear us
• kids who don't have an easy mark for candy (grandma)
• using shower soap that isn't covered in someone else's hair

Nobody Number One

I'm listening to this gorgeous song by Over the Rhine and and Karin sings this phrase...

"I'm so far down, I'm beginning to breathe"

And I am drawn thin. I am made of nothing but dreams and bones, and it all seems so far away. But I am beginning to breathe.

And she sings over and over...

"C'mon now child don't cry
C'mon now child don't cry
Let's give it one more try
C'mon now child don't cry
Cuz we're just too young to die"

Where We Are
in-between

Why Didn't I Think of This

From Mark...

A pastor said to me that he loves to try new things. And the thing he's trying right now that he thinks is such a good idea? [drum roll, please — and brace yourself] He's paying his staff based on how many people, on average, attend the ministries they are in charge of. He grinned as he told me that, for example, one of the pastors has a fairly low monthly salary, because he's new and his particular ministry is average-sized; but if the ministry reaches x-amount on average, his pay will bump to another level, and at xx-amount, to another level, which is a great salary for their area. He said it's a great system because it builds self-motivation in automatically.

Could we tie in bonuses if you bring in big tithers?

You Are Not The King

The middle one has become a pool shark. The kid is barely big enough to see over the table, but he is shooting like a pro. Seriously, if he is as good as he is now at 6, he’ll be amazing by 12. I’m pondering how we can profit from this new development.

“Hey buddy. $100 bucks says my midget beats you at 8-ball.”

The kid has a list of all the people in the house right now (seven of us including him) and has them ranked from easiest to beat to hardest. The Queen Mother is at the bottom. Really, she sucks.

I have had the top spot on the list. The other day he finally beat me.

I would just like to say that this is not right. I might not have tried my best or maybe I had a charlie horse that played injured through, but it is still not right. A boy ought not to beat his dad. One time I was talking to my 89 year old grandfather. He told me that he could still wrestle down my dad and pin him. I believed him.

When the boy sunk the 8-ball to win, he turned and strutted away and spoke over his shoulder saying, “you are not the king.”

So, I sent the little punk to bed without supper.

He For Whom I Wear Yellow

Existence is survival
Think breathe and you inhale
Think breathe and you exhale
And the breath reminds you that you are alive

Swallowing shards of glass
Drying out your tears
You exist
You survive

And I who breathe easy
Who swallow sweetly
Piss and moan my petty inconveniences
And you, you survive

The old prophet cries to the sky
Throwing in the towel
And the voice whispers back
“you are not alone”

“you are not alone”